All parents want the best for their children, and nobody should be surprised that parents who choose and pay for independent schools might be inclined to hold their children, and their children's schools, to even higher standards. Besides, involved parents produce better students, right?
The truth is, not necessarily. In an extensive study, researchers and college professors Keith Robinson and Angel Harris found, in essence, that parental involvement is overrated. As they wrote in the New York Times, "most forms of parental involvement, like observing a child's class, contacting a school about a child's behavior, helping to decide a child's high school courses, or helping a child with homework, do not improve student achievement. In some cases, they actually hinder it."
Their research yielded a relatively short list of what does have a positive effect on children academically. To summarize: Parents should "set the stage and then leave it." Can you see yourself sharing this advice with your school's parents?
Ideally, schools must do some things differently "to promote a culture of independence and achievement," according to this NPR interview with authors Jessica Lahey (The Gift of Failure) and Julile Lythcott-Haims (How to Raise an Adult). In "How Schools Are Handling an 'Overparenting' Crisis," Lahey noted that many are too worried about their children's future achievements to allow them to "work through the obstacles in their path." She offered advice for parents and schools alike in musing that, "I may parent two children, but I'm raising two adults."
The writers' simple message: Let children succeed or fail on their own. That's how they learn. More specifically for schools, one approach is to normalize the struggle by demonstrating that even very high achievers must overcome failures. Aren't these ideas that parents as well as school administrators can agree on?
Rest assured, this hot topic will be one of more 50 concurrent sessions at next month's 2016 NBOA Annual Meeting in Los Angeles. Speakers will tackle "Dealing with the Pushy Parent and Regaining Control," and NBOA overall will do what we do best: Engage the national independent school business officer community to share perspectives on and solutions for important issues that are common to all independent schools. This particular session, it turns out, is on my "must-attend" list. Hope to see you there.
