Lemonade Lessons

It’s a great day at NBOA! It’s a phrase you may have heard me say in my presentations or at the NBOA Annual Meeting. It’s my corny way, perhaps, to seize the positive and manifest optimism for the NBOA staff and its membership. But much has happened in recent months that can drain our wellbeing. In challenging times, we all seek ways to stay grounded, myself included. I’ve explored several strategies, from practical steps like prioritizing your vacation time to broader cultural shifts like fostering “institutional empathy.” Today, let me offer you a freshly squeezed perspective: “lemonading.”

I was inspired by a recent article in Self, “Life Got You Down? Experts Suggest ‘Lemonading.’” The concept of lemonading is simple: seek out the enjoyable or playful aspects of a situation while keeping your eyes open to the realities at hand. To be clear, this doesn't mean ignoring challenges or pretending that everything is fine. It's about moving forward in the face of obstacles. By choosing to “lemonade” a tough situation, we engage in a process that not only helps us adapt but also fosters a sense of empowerment and optimism for the future.

This isn’t just wishful thinking – it’s backed by scientific research. A 2021 University of Oregon study found that during the pandemic, playful individuals reported similar levels of vulnerability and isolation as others, but they engaged in more resilient coping behaviors and found ways to maintain quality experiences. They weren’t ignoring the pandemic’s challenges, but they were better at adapting to its limitations.

While some people are naturally more playful than others, mental health experts say it’s possible to “hack” your brain to make more lemonade so to speak. Here are their tips:

1. Acknowledge and reframe.

Life will inevitably present challenges that upset you, and it’s important to acknowledge those feelings rather than dismiss them. However, rather than assuming things will remain negative, we can open ourselves to exploring other possibilities. Let’s say a board meeting doesn’t go quite the way you want. Acknowledge the disappointment, then regroup and strategize how to approach the issue the next time around.

2. Create your own mantra.

Research has found that positive affirmations can boost overall mood, with simple phrases like “I got this” making a difference. Studies also show that speaking to yourself like a coach during tough times can help. Athletic practices on your campus could provide inspiration.

3. Counter your initial response.

When faced with challenges, it's natural to feel down at first. You might be tempted to isolate yourself and binge watch your favorite shows, for example (any TRAITORS fans out there?). However, research shows that engaging rather than withdrawing — such as attending a faculty-staff appreciation lunch or volunteering at the next prom — can help break the cycle of despondency. Additionally, shaking up your routine with new activities, such as taking a different route to work or trying a new coffee in the morning, can change your outlook.

4. Focus on what’s in front of you.

It’s natural for your mind to race at night, especially when you’re responsible for managing risk at your school or when you face an endless to-do list. However, instead of letting those thoughts run rampant, try focusing on positive actions you’ve taken throughout the day — whether it’s crossing something off that list, solving a perplexing problem or learning something new about a colleague. Shifting your attention to these accomplishments can bring a sense of satisfaction and closure, allowing you to recognize the good moments amid the challenges.

If you've tried lemonading and it doesn’t seem to be clicking, that's okay. We all have our own ways of working through the uncomfortable. Working in schools offers countless opportunities for joy and growth. Students may be the best “lemonaders,” bouncing back after a set back and embracing hope for what’s ahead. What we adults bring to the table is a clear-eyed understanding of challenging realities, but that combined with joy and hope can be the recipe to move our schools forward.

Follow NBOA President and CEO Jeff Shields on LinkedIn.